Choosing a photographer is about more than pretty photos.

When you’re planning a wedding or elopement as a queer couple, you’re not just searching for someone with great editing skills or a dreamy portfolio; you’re looking for someone who makes you feel safe, seen, and celebrated.

Finding that kind of connection matters. Your photographer will be with you during some of the most intimate, emotional moments of your day so it’s important to know they’re someone who not only respects your love but honors it.

Here’s how to find a photographer who genuinely celebrates queer love and how to spot the red flags early.

Two women laughing and peeking over books in front of a full bookshelf during their warm and playful queer bookstore engagement session photographed by Lillian’s Lens in Phoenix, Arizona.

1. Look for Active, Not Passive, Inclusion

There’s a difference between being accepting and being inclusive.
Acceptance says, “You’re welcome here.”
Inclusion says, “You belong here.”

When browsing photographers, look for visible signs that they intentionally work with queer couples. That could mean:

Using gender-neutral language on their website and forms
Featuring queer couples in their galleries and marketing
Including pronouns in their bio or email signature
Talking about inclusivity as a core value

If a photographer claims to be “open to everyone” but their website only showcases straight couples, that’s a quiet red flag. You deserve someone who goes beyond tolerance someone who creates space intentionally and proudly.

2. Pay Attention to How They Communicate

Inclusivity shows up in the details. Notice how a photographer communicates during your inquiry or consultation:

Do they ask for your pronouns early on?
Do they use inclusive language like “partner” or “spouse”?
Do they listen more than they talk?
Do they seem genuinely excited about your love story?

If you ever feel like you have to explain your relationship, your gender identity, or your right to be celebrated that’s not your photographer.

Your experience should feel comfortable and natural, like being around a friend who just gets it.

Couple standing close together between wooden bookshelves, one partner wrapped around the other as they look at a book together during their intimate bookstore engagement shoot in Phoenix, Arizona.

3. Ask About Their Values (And Watch Their Reaction)

A good photographer won’t get defensive if you bring up inclusivity they’ll light up because it’s something they care about, too.

You can ask questions like:

“Have you worked with queer couples before?”
“How do you make your sessions feel safe for everyone?”
“What inspired you to include inclusivity in your brand?”

Pay attention not just to their answers, but to their energy. Someone who genuinely supports the LGBTQ+ community will talk about it with heart, not hesitation.

4. Red Flags to Watch For

Sadly, not every photographer who says they’re “inclusive” walks the walk. Here are some red flags that might signal otherwise:

🚩 They use gendered posing direction.
Phrases like “the guy should stand here” or “you can dip her” are outdated and uncomfortable. True pros know how to direct couples of all genders naturally and evenly.

🚩 Their portfolio lacks diversity.
If you scroll through dozens of galleries and see no visible queer representation, that’s telling.

🚩 They joke about or avoid your identity.
Even small comments that feel off like surprise that you’re a same-sex couple are a sign they’re not the right fit.

🚩 They don’t include your names in conversation.
It might seem small, but using neutral terms instead of your actual names can signal discomfort or distance.

🚩 They center themselves instead of you.
If their tone feels performative (“look at me being inclusive!”) instead of genuine, it’s not worth your time.

Your wedding day is about you, not educating or reassuring your vendors.

5. Look for Connection and Comfort

Inclusivity isn’t just a checkbox it’s a feeling.

When you find the right photographer, you’ll know. You’ll feel comfortable enough to laugh, cry, and be yourselves without having to think twice about how you’re perceived.

That kind of trust translates into the photos the soft smiles, the hand squeezes, the glances you share when you forget the camera’s even there.

That’s where the magic happens.

Couple relaxing on the bookstore floor surrounded by shelves of books, reading side by side in a candid, documentary-style engagement photo captured in Phoenix.

6. Bonus: How to Find an Inclusive Photographer Near You

If you’re not sure where to start, try searching for:

“Queer wedding photographer in [your city]”
“LGBTQ+ inclusive wedding photographer”
“Phoenix inclusive elopement photographer”

You can also check local LGBTQ+ vendor directories, wedding Facebook groups, or hashtags like #QueerLoveInFocus or #LoveIsLovePhotography.

When you find someone whose work makes you feel something, reach out. Your story deserves to be told through a lens that understands it.

Two women sitting on the floor of a cozy bookstore, holding open books in front of their faces during their queer engagement session with Phoenix engagement photographer Lillian’s Lens.

For the Record, Your Love Is Worth Celebrating

If you take one thing from this, let it be this:
You deserve a photographer who celebrates your love story with as much warmth and respect as any other couple.

As a Phoenix-based inclusive wedding photographer, my approach is rooted in authenticity, connection, and care. Whether you’re eloping in the desert, saying vows by candlelight, or dancing under the stars, I’ll be there to document your love exactly as it is real, joyful, and beautifully yours.

📸 Inquire here to start planning your inclusive wedding or elopement →

How to Choose a Photographer Who Celebrates Queer Love (and Spot the Red Flags Early)